Shine Your Light Down On me
by tydavislover
Summary: I got this idea (and song) off of the movie Ladder 49. It does have some spoilers to the movie. Read and review, please. Enjoy!


Discalimer: I don't own anything.

Author's Note: I know it's kinda short, but the idea just popped into my head after I went to see Ladder 49 for the second time. The song "Shine your Light" belongs to Robbie Robertson and it's from the movie. Please review and tell me what you think.

Shine Your Light

How could this happen? I ask myself as I walk into the church. It is filled with our loved ones, our family, whether through blood or work. It was our family.

The cry of the city like a siren's song

Wailing over the rooftops the whole night long

Saw a shooting star like a diamond in the sky

Must be someone's soul passing by

I'm not suppose to be doing this! Not yet. I've already buried my two best friends. I don't think I can bare this again. I sniffle and shake my head. I promised myself I wouldn't cry. He wouldn't want that. He would want me to be strong for the kids and everyone else. I have to be. I look down at my beautiful children. One in each arm and the other on my right side standing tall, trying to be brave like his father.

"Mom, can we go sit down?" he asks me softly, looking up at me with his brown eyes. I nod.

"Sure," I say, but I really don't want to. I don't want to have to sit in the first pew and stare at his picture. At his handsome face: his dark mysterious eyes, perfect smile, and gorgeous dimples. I feel my legs start to shake and I'm not for sure if I can make it all the way to the end of the asile.

These are the streets

Where we use to run where your papa's from

These are the days

Where you become what you become

These are the streets

Where the story's told

The truth unfolds

Darkness settles in

"Here, let me help you," I hear a voice behind me. I smile slightly and see Joe Lambrado.

"Thanks," I say as he takes a baby carrier from me. With his free arm he guides me to the front and into the pew. I set a carrier down on one side of me and Joe sets the other on the other side of me.

"How you doing kiddo?" Joe asks ruffling my oldest son's hair. He stares at the floor and shrugs before sitting next to his little sister. I gently run my hand through his hair and he looks at me and then his father's coffin that lay at the front of the church. It's an empty coffin, you see they only found parts of his uniform. His helmet lies on top of the coffin along with his jacket.

"Can I..." he begins. I nod and watch him stand up and slowly, almost relucatantly, walk up to it. I can't imagine what he's going through. I lost my husband the man of my dreams. The man I've never stopped loving, but my sons and daughter have lost someone who can never be replaced: their father.

Shine your light down on me

Lift me up so I can see

Shine your light when you're gone

Give me strength

To carry on

I see him touch his father's helmet and then look down at the ground. I turn and look at the man and woman, who are sitting behind me.

"Faith, can you watch them?" I ask refering to the three month olds asleep in their carriers. She solomnly nods and I stand. I have to comfort my son.

"Are you ok?" I ask as I touch his shoulder. He nods.

"Yeah, I just wanted to say goodbye," he tells me and walks back to his seat. I feel my lip tremble and touch the casket myself.

"He's so brave just like you. I love you so much and I'll never stop, I promise," I whisper and kiss my hand and then place it back on the casket. I turn around and see everyone's eyes on me. Faith and Bosco's are the closest and their eyes are fill with sorrow. I ignore their tears and sit next to my children. I have to be strong for them, I remind myself.

Don't wanna be a hero

Just an everyday man

Trying to do the job the very best he can

But now it's like living on borrowed time

Out on the rim, over the line

Always tempting fate like a game of chance

Never wanna stick around to the very last dance

Sometimes I stumble and take a hard fall

Loose hold your grip off the wall

I can't remember the service, I just remember staring at my husband's face in the picture. We'd just been re-married six months ago. We'd just gotten our lives back on track. We'd just brought two beauitful babies into the world. This wasn't suppose to happen.

Shine your light down on me

Lift me up so I can see

Shine your light when you're gone

Give me strength

To carry on

As the Capitan hands me the burnt helmet and the folded flag, I feel my body start to shake. Everyone grabs a rose from a bucket and places it on the casket. As my son and I make our way over to the casket, I feel a hand on my arm and look down at my son.

"Mom," he says, as if asking something.

"Hmm," I say, afraid if I talk I'll break down.

"It's ok to cry, right?" he asks tears in his eyes.

"Oh, honey," is all I can get out before I break into tears. My son does the same and we hold each other and cry on each other for a few minutes.

"Bye Dad. I'll miss you," he whispers before we take our seats. I sniffle and take a tissue from D.K. I feel a hand on my shoulder and know that it's Billy Walsh.

"Honey, I'm going to take Bobby and Lexi inside. It's a little chilly out here," my mother tells me. I nod.

"Joey, go with your grandmother," I say softly.

"But mom what about you?" he asks.

"I'll be fine, darling. I promise, I'll be in in a little bit," I say.

I thought I saw him walking by the side of the road

Maybe trying to find his way home

"Do you want a few minutes alone?" Ty Davis asks me as I stare at the tombstone in front of me. I nod.

"Please," I whisper.

"I'm sorry, Kimmy," he says before heading inside.

"Thanks," I whisper.

"Oh Jimmy, why did you do this to me? To our family? Alexandra and Robert will never knew their father and Joey needs you. I can't do this by myself, Jimmy! I know you were saving that baby girl, but didn't you think of us when you went back into that building? Please, Jimmy, I don't know how to do this by myself," I cry falling onto the ground. I sit there for a long moment.

He's here but not here

He's gone but not gone

Just hope he knows if I get lost

"I know you can't come back, so please, just look out for us and take care of Bobby and Alex and Lieu, ok? I love you, James Doherty," I whisper kissing the gravestone. I stand up and walk over to the car.

Shine your light down on me

Lift me up so I can see

Shine your light when you're gone

Give me strength

To carry on  
  
The end.  
  
Well what do you think? Review and tell me what you think.


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